Empathy...to have or not to have?

Hiya is now eight. She is having a good year at school till now. Her teacher is fairly supportive, I believe and my efforts to focus on Math a little more than the rest of her subjects is paying off. She likes Math, and has been getting a lot of good remarks at school for her work. She is thrilled, and my heart melts when I see her smile.

The other day, Hiya had a class test in Hindi. Now Hindi is Sooo.... not our comfort zone. But with a little extra effort, she managed to get most of her work correct that day. She was quite proud about it, and let's admit, I was happy too. I then asked her the question that I spend entire days telling parents to veer away from in my professional capacity"So, how did the others do"? Her face fell a little as she said, "R got a remark saying she needs to learn her spellings better."

A little imp inside of me, called Competition, drilled through years and years of school and later work, did a little jig and said"Yeayyyy!!!" And that self-same imp egged me onto ask her why SHE looked so sad. Hiya turned back to look at me, surprise writ large on her innocent face,"But Mummy!She is my BEST friend!!"

Of course!Here was empathy-in its purest, most untutored form. And here I was-trying to replace it with a 'competitive streak'. A streak that knows no boundaries, a world where there are no true friends, a race that has no finish line.Was I right, to try and build her for the 'real world' around her? Or should I have simply let go, to give that rare quality of empathy a chance to  flourish?

What is our role as parents? How true are we to what we teach our children? Do our actions really support what we preach? How often in  day do we send out such mixed messages to our children?